人 有时候 真的是很矛盾的
当你不曾拥有 你会想要拥有
当你曾经拥有 你会不想拥有
当你一个人时 你会想要个伴
当你有个伴时 你会想要独处
人人都说 想要就去争取
那么 争取到了的 是灾难还是幸福
当你 争取到了后 会庆幸还是懊悔
想要的就真的要去争取吗
人嘛 都是口是心非的
自己没有的 会眼红会嫉妒会冲动
自己曾有的 会炫耀会得瑟会不屑
那么 到底怎样呢
有时真的很迷茫。为什么很多时候都是一开始说的是一套,后来发生事情后又是一套。明明相互都付出了很多,我也因为自己的心结原因而感到无措难受,可偏偏他就是看不到。
2021即将结束。这一年发生了很多,同时也发生了很少。在我的记忆里,好的、坏的、于我有利的、于我不利的全都发生了。发生了那就发生了吧。时间到了,自然也就来了。来了,避不开、躲不开。
我记得
当 一片真心 被无视了
~It's been a long day~
Talking to one little mousey tonight, reminds me of what I had gone through back then. Maybe it was just bad timing, but sec and poly was really the worse 7 years of my life, even till now. But, I'm glad I went through it. I manage to come out stronger and able to handle what life will throw at me better. On a side note, I'm more positive too? Hmm..
While talking tho. I was asked "am I happy?". Am I? I wonder.. Even now, despite people saying I'm becoming more positive and all, I do feel that im not really all that positive. I do still feel negative once in a while. I just feel that I'm more able to look at the positive side of life and situations rather than always thinking bout the worst case scenario now. So am I happy? I'm not. And I'm happy that I'm not happy. Because even when I'm not happy, I'm satisfied with what I have now. Right now, I'm not looking for happiness. What I'm looking for right now is satisfaction. Being satisfied with what I've done throughout the day and if I'm not, think back on it and correct it if possible. My goal now, is to live with no regrets. Anything I wanna do, I'm gonna go ahead and do it even if it goes against what my mum wants.
I'm not going to live my life from now on with regrets. I'm not looking for happiness, I'm looking for no regrets. Because, happy or sad, time won't wait for you. So why not be happy, or if not happily, at the very least having no regrets. I'll never know when I'll lose my chance to live my life the way I want after all.